Comic Recap/Thoughts: Harley Quinn: Volume No. 1: Die Laughing, Part 1

Oh hey! Welcome to my continuing journey through DC Rebirth. Up next we are jumping right into Harley Quinn Volume No. 1: Die Laughing. This volume collects issues 1-7. I think it is safe to say that Harley is the least impacted by the changes from New 52/DC you to Rebirth. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is a direct continuation, which makes me happy. I was a little worried going in that they might send her back to Gotham or put her back with the Joker, but so far it does not look like that is the plan. If you would like a rundown of how New 52 changed Harley, (for the better in my opinion) check out this article here. For this blog to keep it a little easier to read, I am going to break it into two parts. This post will cover issues 1-4.

Die Laughing Part 1: Afterbirth: Harley and Ivy are having a spa day. Harley is treating Ivy because of a nice thing Ivy did for her in the previous run. (Long story short, Harley loved a tree that got destroyed, so Ivy brought it back.) Ivy is talking about trying to get funding for research, she continues to be unimpressed with humans and how we treat the planet. Harley is also flirting pretty hard while talking about her life too. She is a business owner and landlord in Coney Island. She also sort of runs a gang of Harleys, so she is booked all the time, but is about to get more help. Harley asks Ivy to move in with her, Ivy politely declines. Harley takes it like a champ and tells Ivy the offer is open. They say goodbye for now as Ivy boards a train to Gotham.

Back at her place in Coney Island, Harley is hosting a show. It is mostly for the benefit of the reader. Harley was born and raised in Brooklyn. She has three brothers and her parents are now retired to Florida. She went to Gotham University, top of her class, and then went to work in a prominent hospital in Gotham. She was drawn to Arkham where she came up with the idea to become an inmate, so she could study the patients while living among them. Joker wasn't fooled and totally suckered her in. Her cover was blown and she was kicked out of Arkham, but she decided to break Joker out, he in turn threw her into a vat of chemicals, making her like him. The old Harleen was dead and Harley Quinn was born. She became all the things he needed and then he dumped her. She briefly mentions the Suicide Squad and then covers leaving Gotham to go back to New York.

Then she proceeds to introduce us to all of her friends. First is Big Tony (he is actually a little guy), her beaver Bernie, and her Rooster Mike. (Basically a lot of beaver and cock jokes.) The rest of the crew is a fun assortment of freaks and geeks (see picture below, it is a lot of people). Turns out the audience is empty and the only two people in attendance are Red Tool and Jimm Salabim up in the balcony seats. (Couple of notes: Red Tool is 100% a joke on Deadpool and is mad in love with Harley. Jimm is a genie, was a genie...Anyway, we met him in a special loot crate issue and it appeared in Vol. 5 of the previous run of HQ. Honestly, I read it, but I do not remember what happened in that issue. If I can find it, I'll follow up at the end of this post.)

The place that Harley 'owns' is called Madame Macabre's House of Wax and Murder Museum. Harley owns the building and is temporarily running the Museum while Madame Macabre is in witness protection with her son. (Long story short, her son, Mason, accidentally killed the Mayor's son in a bar fight. Harley and Mason kind of dated. The Mayor also hated Harley. Mayor was is bad dude, now Mason and his mom are in hiding. I think that covers it all.) Harley is asking Jimm to work at the Museum until Madame Macabre can come back. Jimm doesn't get why people would pay money to see wax recreations of murder, but Harley points out that people love morbid stuff.

Just outside of the museum, Harley and Red Tool are talking about their friendship. In the background we see some kids that very much look like the Scooby gang getting super killed by some zombies. Harley and RT see nothing.

98 hours earlier, in Oklahoma, a spaceship crashes into a cow field. This young alien thinks that cows are the dominant species so it tries to interact with them. His name is Vertigax, from the planet Zhelbon, and he ran away from home because his parents are too overbearing. Some farmers show up on scene, so Vertigax decides to disguise himself as a cow. The farmers are none the wiser. They gather up all the cattle and take them to the slaughter house. We see all the beef loaded up onto a truck and taken to a hotdog manufacturing plant. The hot dogs then get loaded in a Nate-man's hot dog truck. This truck makes its way to Coney Island where a lot of people and animals eat the tainted hot dogs.

Back to now, RT and Harley are finally aware of the zombies. RT figures it is just some crazies but Harley is pretty sure it is zombies. They argue if zombies are real while fighting off these clearly zombies. Big Tony joins the fight with a bat. Harley doesn't want to kill people from her neighborhood , but Tony and RT point out that they are trying to eat them. Tony gets some swords and they continue to fight for a little bit. RT gets bitten by one of the zombies and Harley in an attempt to save him cuts his bitten arm off.

RT is not happy because they don't know that a bite would even pass the infection, if that is what is happening. Harley says she is sorry and tells Tony to grab RT's arm. Tony gets the arm and everyone makes it inside. They need to find a way to get RT to a hospital so they can get his arm back on and Harley has a plan. She just needs a cooler with ice, a parachute, and to get to the roof. (Note: Harley has many, many pets, so to deal with all the poop they build a giant catapult that they call the scatapult on the roof.) The plan is to launch RT at the hospital. RT asks why they don't just call for help. Harley looks down and reports that some police have just shown up and are getting eaten by the zombies. Due to blood loss RT is not doing well, right as they launch him, he passes out. Harley yells for him to wake up, because he needs to pull the parachute cord.

Die Laughing Part 2: The Coney Island of the Damned: Quick recap, a young alien got turned into hot dogs and turned all that ate his flesh into flesh eating zombies. RT is flying through the air about to crash into the hospital. Harley comes up with a quick and terrible plan. She starts shooting out the windows of the hospital so that RT does not get smashed like a tomato. She somehow doesn't hurt anyone and RT does sort of ‘safely’ land in the hospital cafeteria. (I think Harley and Tony have a doctor friend who helps them out.) Tony tells the doc sorry for the windows and yes, that is RT's arm.

On her cell phone Harley gets a call from her gang of Harleys, they are all okay and holed up in her other building. It is getting really messy on the street with zombies killing everyone. A whole lot of SWAT cops show up and are getting ready to come in and help. The head cop says to keep it non-violent, because they figure it is a bad drug trip. Once the cops see the horde coming at them, they start to see that maybe this is a little more than that. Right as the wall of zombies and the police are about to collide, the zombies hit some kind of invisible wall. People who are not zombies can go through it. They have also figured out that the epicenter of the horde is a Nate-man’s hot dog stand.

Harley and all of her crew are watching the news. The reporter is telling everyone to stay inside and that CDC is on sight trying to figure out how the infection is spreading. Everyone is giving Harley a lot of shit about cutting RT's arm off. Harley thinks it is a good idea to get ahold of one of the infected and someone who has been bitten, to see if they can learn anything. They track down some deep sea fishing gear to try and hook a zombie. Naturally, Harley hooks a zombie horse and it pulls her down, but she is Harley Quinn so she manages some tricks to land safely.

Harley spends a lot of time fighting the zombies and learns that biting does not seem to transmit the infection. She then kills a lot of zombies and makes a lot of jokes. She holds up well for a long time, until she is cornered in an arcade with a lot of zombies bearing down on her. Lucky for Harley, many of her buddies show up with weapons. They fight their way to the bumper cars, because it is caged in. Unfortunately there are some of the zombies in the cage. They manage to clean it out and close up the cage, but it doesn't hold the zombies out for very long. They use up all the bullets they have and are about to start fighting hand to hand, when Ivy shows up wielding a very sturdy weed whacker.

Die Laughing Part 3: Goin' for Takeout: At the Coney Island Hospital, doctors are trying to get RT to take his mask off so they can put him to sleep and attach an arm to him. It isn't his arm though, that one got too messed up, but they have another arm that is ready to go, still warm and from someone famous. (Fun note, whenever Red Tool talks his speech bubbles are in the shape of tools, like a buzz saw or a hammer head.) I get the feeling this doctor is a bit of a mad scientist type, but before RT can protest they knock him out.

On the planet Zhelbon, some parents are finally starting to worry about their kid. They notice his ship is gone and we find out this is not the first time the little scamp has run off. They don't seem too worried though and laugh about how he is probably out making friends with his infectious personality.

Now safely back inside Harley's apartment building everyone is recovering from their last fight. Harley thanks Ivy for saving them all. Tony calls the hospital to check in on RT. The doctor tells him that the operation was a success and RT is now recovering. On the news they are showing footage of Ivy killing the zombies. Then a doctor comes on to tell our survivors that 120 people who made it past the invisible barrier have been checked out and those bitten do not seem to be infected. They estimate that about 300 individuals running around inside the barrier are infected and are extremely dangerous. They do not know if there is a cure yet because they have not been able to examine an infected person but they will be sending help soon.

Upstairs Harley and Ivy are showering together and discussing a plan of action. Ivy figures they should just stay holed up and leave it to the professionals. Harley agrees, but has a moment of panic when she realizes there is little to no food in the building. She runs out in her towel to ask about food but she was right, there is not a lot, because of course today would have been shopping day. Harley gets a crazy look in her eyes and says it is time for plan B.

At the hospital RT is waking up from his surgery. He can't really move his new arm yet. The doctor walks in and explains it takes time to heal. RT asks what the story is on his new arm. It belonged to a criminal that was killed that morning. His name was Victor "The Chronic" Temple, a very disturbed individual (they don't say exactly what he did, just that it involved bra departments, dressing rooms, and exhibitionistic tendencies) that the police had been after for a long time. RT does not handle the news well and starts trying to rip the arm off. The doctor tells him to calm down, that Chronic was a lefty. RT calms down and asks if the doctor is sure. The doc promises they gave him Chronic's non-dominant arm. RT then tells the doc and his nurse if they ever tell anyone where the arm came from he will kill them both. They promise. As the doc and nurse are leaving though, we are left wondering what the truth is.

Harley is hangry. She doesn't want to eat pet food, so her plan is to launch into the ocean and swim to safety. Everyone feels this is a bad idea, Eggy most of all for fear of cracking. Harley in her hunger starts to think Eggy might make a good meal. Ivy intervenes and asks for other ideas. Tony remembers that under the museum there are tunnels. He doesn't know where they go, but they boarded it up because of the animal noise they kept hearing down them. Harley loves herself some tunnels and even has a tunnel exploring outfit change.

Down in the tunnels Harley tells Ivy she is glad she is there, the others don't really get her like Ivy does. They reach the entrance of the tunnels only to find a door that is less than inviting. Despite the clear ominous feeling, our group pries open the doors. Meanwhile, the alien parents are just entering the Earth's atmosphere, even though they are not supposed to visit Earth because we are not evolved enough. Back in the tunnels Harley is flirting with Ivy, oh and they find a big room full of doors. One door has the classic smiling and frowning drama masks and they figure that one will lead them to where the old theater used to be. Tony tells us the old theater burned down and is now a store. Harley is trying to break chains off a different door. She wants to explore all the doors! Tony promises if they all live through the zombie infestation he will bring her back to explore. Ivy leads a sad Harley away from all the mysterious doors.

Harley bashes in the door at the end of the tunnel and they end up in a shoe store. Both Harley and Ivy get a little distracted by the sheer amount of shoes. Harley actually gets a lot distracted and starts climbing up the racks. From the top she can see that the store is not free of zombies and they are heading towards the group. Harley knocks over many shelves and does take out a lot of zombies, but not all of them and now shelves are blocking the way they came.

Our alien parents can't figure out why they are getting hundreds of readings for their son, they think he has been ripped to pieces (they are not super wrong). While our group is fighting for their lives in the shoe store the alien parents have an idea to pull their son back together. Harley thinks they are going to lose the fight, so she does the thing every hero does when their back is against the wall; she tries to tell Ivy how she is feeling. Ivy does the thing that every hero does too and tells her to keep fighting.

Just then the ray to pull their son back together works, pulling out all the little chunks that got eaten by the poor people and animals of Coney Island. (Pretty sure it kills all of them too. :/ ) On the spaceship the mom alien asks the dad alien if their son can understand them in his current state. The dad says it will take some time but he will get put back together and yes he should be able to understand. She lays into him in true mom form.

Back on Earth, they see the spaceship flying away. Ivy guesses that they might have had something to do with this whole mess but at least they cleaned it up too, sort of. There are a lot of dead people and animals. Harley figures there is only one thing to do. Got to get some food.

At a dinner, Harley calls to check on RT, but just leaves a message promising to visit soon. Harley asks Ivy to move in again. Ivy tells her that she owes her a trip to the Bahamas, that Harley should book the trip in ten weeks. Ivy wants to see how that week goes and then they can talk more about it. Ivy then changes the subject to Coney Island, wondering if it will recover. Harley and Tony are both confident that people in New York can bounce back from anything.

HQ Issue 4: 108 Million Ways to Die: Harley is walking though Coney Island. Hazmat crews are still cleaning up after the zombie alien mess. She says hello to the poor Nate-man's hotdog guy. He is pretty bummed and figures no one will ever eat his hot dogs again. Harley convinces him to give her 6 hot dogs with the works for free and she will walk around eating them, so people see it is safe. He agrees and she sets off down the boardwalk eating her first hot dog.

Harley spots a new booth called Frank Frank? (There is a question mark on the booth, I am not questioning the name of the booth.) She meets Frank the Wonderful, an average looking joe, smoking a cigarette. She asks what he is selling and it is honest advice. She barters a hot dog for one question. She asks what the meaning of life is. He simply replies, "Life is meaningless." He expands a bit, but she wants another question, so she gives him another hot dog. She asks if life is meaningless, then why bother with anything, like his silly booth. While he is closing his booth he tells her, "Life itself is meaningless, it doesn't mean you can't give yourself a meaningful life." Then he tells her to beat it.

She is not happy but admits Frank is probably pretty wise. Harley then decides to ride some rides and eat more hot dogs, but it does not go well and she gets sick. Once she is done tossing her cookies, she gets a call. Coach, the coordinator of her gang of Harley's has a mission for her. Harley tells Coach to have Bolly Quinn get her passport ready, they got some butt to go kick.

(This story is a continuation of a problem that Harley found out about at least a volume ago. She sometimes works as a physiatrist at an assisted living facility and some unknown person or persons had been scamming the people out of money.) Harley and Bolly are on their way to India to take down some scammers. They meet up with Bolly's (real name Shona) cousin Hari. He is a driver for a Bollywood company and offers to drive them around. Hari also lets slip that Bolly told him to have bail money ready in case this crazy plan goes sideways.

Hari wants in on the mission and eventually persuades Shona and Harley that he can help. They arrive at a large skyrise, Hari tells us that thousands of people work in this building. Harley is bummed she can't just blow up the problem. They all go into the building and are met with a security guard that informs them the owners of the business are international investors. The guard refuses to give Harley the names and addresses of said investors, all the while pushing a large red button. Harley notices said large button and asks what is up.

A giant door opens to reveal a huge robot. The guard calls it Perun, The God of Thunder and Lightning and tells the robot to destroy the intruders. Hari, being the gentle soul he is, runs away. Harley is ready to have some fun and kicks the guard right in the face. Shona is much less excited as the robot starts to shoot at them. They both make it to the elevator going up. The robot goes to engage its rocket boosters, while the guard yells for it not to do that. It for sure turns on its rocket boosters and the guard is definitely killed. (To be fair, he did sort of overreact by activating a giant robot.)

Harley and Shona step out onto a floor that is full of hundreds of people making spam phone calls, but before they can react to seeing that, the robot's head comes bursting through the floor. Harley and Shona run up the last flight of stairs to the roof, but the robot is still going up and bursts through. Not wanting to jump the hundred stories, Harley and Shona turn tail and start running back down the stairs. Shona looks out the window to see both people and lots of other random things falling. She notes that they don't have to wreck anything, the robot is doing it for them.

Back at the car, Hari is pulling out Harley's equipment hoping something might help Harley and his cousin, assuming they are not already dead. Harley and Shona make it to the ground and Harley breaks the fourth wall wondering why the artist put a tree where they did.

Hari gives Harley her bag of goodies and Shona asks where Harley got a missile launcher. Tony of course, he knows people everywhere. Harley tells Shona to shoot at the legs. Conveniently Hari had time to hack the mainframe of the building and made a copy of it for Harley (the goal here, getting the names of the international investors). Harley runs right at that crazy robot right as Shona hits it in the knee taking it down, so Harley can jump on its head and destroy it with a mallet. Once destroyed a small child pops out of the middle (I guess the kid was controlling the robot?) and Harley gives the kid a spanking. (Look, I know I am not capturing all the fun nonsense that is this comic issue, but I get the feeling this is a bit of a filler issue, just meant to resolve a prior storyline.)

In Moscow 28 hours later, Harley rolls up on a shady looking Russian club. The door guards are again rude to her, but she just takes them out and then goes inside. She is looking for one Ivan Petrov (He is the international investor?). There is a lot of shooting and a lot of killing. Eventually she confronts Ivan and straight up just cuts his throat. Harley then gives Ivan's sister a warning to stay out of the scamming business. On the flight back to the U.S. Shona asks if the sister shut down all the call centers and Harley confirms that she had.

Going to end this post here. Look forward to part 2 on Friday. I’ll include my thoughts and favorite line in that post.

Next Post: Harley Quinn Volume No. 1: Die Laughing, Part 2

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